I'm still shocked. I don't know. My chest hurts. I'm in pain. Fuck my life, fuck the world. People come and go, I know that. It sucks that they're always the one that are so close to me. They get a better chance at ripping my heart out and throwing it away like a meaningless object. Distance should never be the reason to drift apart. Neither is having a new person in your life. You said you'd always be my friend and now you're abandoning me because you think I'm shutting you out. I've NEVER even tried to shut you out. You just don't ask me about certain things so I don't tell you. You don't tell me certain things either. It's not fair! You guys always make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside enough to spill my guts to you, but you barely tell me anything.
I'm not meant to be happy. My happiness hurts people I care for. I know, you don't want to be my friend anymore and you don't care and this whole thing is pointless, but still, I love you. I told you you'd always be my pescado. I wasn't planning on going back on my words. I hope some day, we'll be friends again and everything will be cool.
I'm closing up my heart; I'm building a stronger, taller, bigger wall around my heart so no one can get in besides the ones already there. I am not going to be immune to pain forever, but right now I'm so used to it that it seems like a natural thing. IT SHOULDN'T BE.
For now, I'm gonna do what Kevin does and shut it all out. I'm not letting anyone get close enough to hurt me anymore.
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