ain't no way i'm gon letchu down

haha middle schoolers asking for an ass beating. how dare they frame my sister. some shit is going to go down. for those who actually know me, i'm not very violent. only when it comes to kevin then i'm violent. but shit i'm willing to give that shit up and beat the crap out of these bitches. they better be scared of me cause i can be a fucking monster.


ID pictures for seniors was today. HAHA MINE CAN TOP YOURSSS!!!!

so we can just go

hm, how do i get rid of my easily annoyed mood? i don't like when someone commands me around. it just pisses me off. and i dont like when someone gets mad at me for being me. you annoy me too. i dont get mad at you for it though. i just get annoyed. im not going to give you a fucking attitude and make you feel stupid the whole fucking time.

i just remembered something that hella bugged me. i was watching G.I Joe with him and there was this part that I found amusing but no one else did. it was more of a " you'd catch it if you were smart" type of thing. i found the sarcasm funny. so i laughed and he got mad at me. wtf?

it's whatever. i've learn to let go.



HAHAHA SIKE. yeah right. i'll fucking hold you to it. be annoyed all you want. you're still a jerk. and i'm a bitch. I know. I don't care. I seriously hate when I'm being told to do something so simple. It's annoying, just fucking chill. I'll get to it. you're not going to die cause I don't do it. And you're not going to die if I do. gahh.

you wna know why i blog? it's cause 1) I don't have anyone to tell it to or 2) Someone that I can talk to is busy so I become a loser and put it all here. ha ha ha-_-

Don't you ever leave the side of me

So leave it behind cause we gotta night to get away
So come and fly with me as we make our great escape

School starts soon. senior ID's and schedule pick up is this Wednesday. I'm going to be a fucking senior. My hair is brown. So i kinda ran away for a week. first to jessie, then to bernard. I got tired of being home. I got sick of feeling what i felt, I had to get away, I was kind of going crazy. It's pretty selfish of me but I think it's better than getting suicidal and not solving anything at all. I left and I guess that's when everything went downhill for my family. I think I fucked up pretty bad. I made my mom really sad. I wanted to talk to someone about this but "what you reap is what you sow" i've been breaking out. it's a pain in the ass. i think i'm going to have to wear make up for the picture -_-

i'm semi cleaning my room. material wise, i'm ready for school. learning wise, i'm not. i don't know why. i feel really weird. I have no idea why. i don't feel capable of remembering things. esp places. it's something i can't explain. i just want one more carefree day. i'm not going to get it though. i wonder what i'm getting next year. i hope i didn't fuck up on anything. I don't have the requirements it takes for UC but i do for state. Donnie says I gotta work my ass off cause I don't have the grades like Bernard has. He can pretty much go anywhere with that fcking 4.0 and his extra curicular actives and shit. haha fucking nerd. I don't like his mom very much.. The time I got to stay with him was fun. beach, mini golf, movie night, date, bowling, soak city. it was great. we had little arguments but it never got worse than " bitch ass". that was pretty much the worse. we turn away then after a couple minutes to cool down, it's all good. i loved it.

until the day i die, i'll spill my heart for you.

i miss those days. haha i used to love that song. i wonder why i dont listen to story of the year or switchfoot anymore. my head hurts. anytime- ray j. damn. it reminds me of so muchh.

so nice- dj ironik. i fucking hate this song. because it's so nice and reminds me of my fuck up so damn much. haha this is so stupidddd. i'm learning. ughhh. it's on repeat now. i can't get the fucking song out of my head. so many memories and shit. fuck.

i took forever to blog this crap. i don't really know what to say. i'm a bothered girl. i'm better now though. i found a letter from bnard. it made me feel a lot better.

A Dream To Life
If I was to come back as one thing
I would like to be your King
To have my queen in my arms
away from all the harm
This love I present
to show you that I represent
I love you with a capital U
Which means I can't stop thinking about us two
There are times I wanna cry
There are times I wanna die
But you came and told me
"Bernard I need you"
Say no more, my heart is yours
Take me away to a place we can stay
For the rest of our life
I'll keep on saying
I love you my Wife
Till death do us part,
Here is my heart.

i'm in love with the way that you smile and the way you look in my eyes.
stupid song is stuck in my head. when i started this blog, it was down by jay sean. now it's so nice. rawrrr!

broken scale

gah, i'm so chinky.

you dont like me, i'm not fond of you

you're not mature just bright. look past your circle. he needs you.

I had a good day. I felt bad though that because I went, Liaw didn't. I learned some new things. It felt good. Bro said I looked happier when I did martial arts with you and practiced on you. He said now i'm stressing over this. and maybe i am. i can't seem to let go for some damn reason.
I was really hoping to see you today so that maybe hopefully I'd be able to talk to you. maybe next time.