i hope you die.

So I'm sure most of you have seen the news about Annie Le, the missing Yale grad student. She is my cousin from my dad's side. I was suppose to attend her wedding but now I'll have to attend her funeral. It really sickens me how far some people will go to sabotage others. Have they no human emotions? No shame? Pity? Regrets? I don't want to go to her funeral. I don't want to see how she looks like. I don't even know what she looks like right now. I haven't seen her in years and now she's gone. Just like that. I hope her slayer gets the worst death of all. maybe it wont be now but later on. karma's a bitch. if it's a male [ and im guessing it most likely is] i pray he gets hit by a car into a tree with the branches going through his eyes and the glass from the car cutting into his face and throat. haha like a final destination type of thing but better. someone should shove a super dull knife into his penis. how exciting. and if it was a girl. i hope she gets caught in a fire, burning all her skin and hair off. i hope she gets her arms and legs amputated so no one will ever want her.

Humans are the most evil animals. We are the only ones that kill for fun. Other animals kill for self defense or out of fear. I don't like humans. We suck. I think that humans see themselves superior to everything else in this world so we tend to push it. a tiger can come at us and kill oh so easily but we can shoot it down just as easy. a shark can tear us to pieces but a torpedo can demolish it just as simple. they do this to protect themselves. why do we do it? to hurt them. we're greedy and that's all we are. maybe all this negativity is coming out so awkwardly because i'm in a bad mood. There are some things I wish I never did so I wouldn't know what it felt like.

I'm trying to make the best out of my senior year but family is still holding me back. i'm debating on whether or not to go to a far away college. not super far but a couple hours away. mom isn't getting any better and i don't know what will happen. i'm not making any progress in life. I can't do anything. I'm still stuck as a prisoner and I really want to leave it all behind. I want to take a couple people with me but sometimes I rather just be alone. It's as if I hurt everyone I care for. and some gets it way worse than others. I've hurt some people ,that I deeply care for, SO much that they've cut me out of their lives. i don't blame them. I'd leave me if I were them. I don't understand how your minds work. i really don't understand it.

at one point today I was really happy. until i was told that most likely it was just a lie to cover up from last night. i don't believe it was a lie. but maybe it isn't completely true either. i keep trying to alternate between you guys but it's so hard. the people i care for the most truely hate each other. I want us to all be friends and cool with each other but I'm sure there's no way in hell that would ever happen. i'm not quite satisfied with my blog but i needed to get somethings off my chest. i want to create another holocaust. haha one for smokers and all the killers caught. i want to put them all in a room with acidic gas. slow painful death. how fun.